Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Add Lettuce!

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate myself for returning my blog to it's original state. Go me! (Pats self on back) I'm not some computer nerd so cut me some slack! That last background was some gay shit, wasn't it? All that gayness in an attempt to add speech bubbles to my photos and I still haven't figured it out!

Time is of the essence so I must keep this post as short as possible while still making my point. Like I said, I'm not a computer geek and can't type a thousand keystrokes per minute so my posts take longer than what I have time for. I neglect my duties as a parent and as a husband every time is sit down in front of this computer so be thankful for what you get!

Today, I'm going to pick on the biggest fast food monster of all...

There is so much I have to say about these fuckers it is hard to know where to begin and impossible to fit it all into one post. I'm quite sure there is more to come on these guys. But for now, let's start small. After all, it's the little things about fast food that gets me the most!

So what is it that has me in a rage this time? All the cheap ways they get more money from us. Let's start with the value menu. More specifically, the "Mcdouble".

Here it is...the Mcdouble. Available on the value menu for just 99 cents. It's just a double cheeseburger. But when you order this item, you must refer to it as a Mcdouble. If you call it a double cheeseburger, this is what you get....

Looks relatively the same at first glance. But the double cheeseburger costs $1.49. Why the significant change in price? One single slice of cheese! Are you fucking kidding me!? Are you telling me that one little slice of slimy ass cheese costs 50 cents? I think not! Maybe they are adding in the cost of extra labor for taking the difficult time of placing an extra slice of cheese on the heaping pile of grease they call a sandwich. Those tricky bastards! I remember the first time they got me on this, I was fucking furious! At first, on the dollar menu, it was a double cheeseburger. Then they sneakily changed it to the Mcdouble. I had exact change ready for my usual order and was dumbfounded when it didn't come out right. Cheap fuckers!

My most recent visit, to McD's, I wanted something out of the norm. I decided on a filet-o-fish.

More often than not, this is how it's going to look when they serve it to you. Even the bun looks greasy! The tartar is squirted on one side while the fish is hanging off the other. The cheese is on there somewhere. I thought I would spruce up my nasty fish by requesting lettuce. The result was one flimsy leaf of lettuce. I would have been better off picking a leaf off of the nearest tree and applying it to my heap of fake greasiness. Aside from how nasty it was was the outrageous price for said leaf of lettuce. I believe it was 39 cents to add their so-called lettuce! I could go to the grocery and get an entire head of lettuce for a $1.29. How does one little leaf come to 39 cents?

Times are tough these days, so every penny counts! So when I get ripped off by these assholes over something that, you would think, shouldn't cost extra, it sends me into a blinding rage! Fucking economics, I tell you, is all a gimmick to pinch us for everything we have!

On that note, I shall close out this post with a big, fat FUCK YOU McDONALDS! You and your food suck ass! If only I would wake up early enough to pack my own lunch, I would never eat at that grease pit again!

Cheers my friends! Be careful how you place your order!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Caveman Chronicles (continued)

To get the meaning of this post you must first visit you are coming from there. In which case you would continue reading. My sub-conscious: "No fucking shit, moron!"

.....I got my bubble text alright! Are you fucking kidding me!? A pink background with the sought after bubble text! If you had been to this page before, you would know that I had a cheese burger for my background.
Now all I wanted to do was add a bubble text to my own photos. I did figure out how to add bubble texts to my photos in Open Office, but uploading them to my blog is still a mystery! I had thought that I was installing a program that would enable me to make my characters (my family) talk via speech bubble. Now I'm stuck with this gay background and I can't change it back!

I woke my wife up the morning it happened, with the computer in my lap, half laughing and half crying from the idiotic thing I had done. When I was finally able to take my eyes off of the "new look" of my blog and look at her, she was silently giggling with her eyes watering and her hand over her mouth, trying not to let out the uproar that was swelling up inside her! When she was finally able to breathe she managed to call me an idiot and began laughing again. I agreed and laughed with her.

Don't let this be me! I could probably definitely use some advice here. I'm hoping to be able to add bubble texts to my photos and restore this blog to it's original state by my next post.

Might want to give a follow....who knows what dumb ass move I will pull next!